The Trials of Sesshoumaru
by Jinx-co
Summary: Chapter 4 What happens when three insane authors get transported into the feudal era and just happen to run into Sesshoumaru? Read to find out! A quest and Keep Your Hands Where I Can See Them!
1. It's A Fluffy

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. I don't even own Gabbo, she's my friend!  
  
Yukai: This is just random stuff me and Gabbo talk about on the bus.  
  
Gabbo: Yup!  
  
*^&*^&*^&*^&*^&*^&*^&*^&*^&*^&*^&*^&*^&  
  
The Trials of Sesshoumaru  
  
Chapter 1: IT'S A FLUFFY!  
  
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One normal day Gabbo and Meg were standing outside their school They were bored. as usual.  
  
"Let's write." Meg suggested.  
  
"Nuh uh. You write." Gabbo said shaking her head.  
  
"Okay." Meg shrugged.  
  
She started writing.  
  
I One day Sesshoumaru was walking around feudal Japan when he saw two girls standing by a river. One had short brown hair the other had semi-long dark brown/blonde/gold hair. /I  
  
Meg stopped writing. "I can't think of anything else."  
  
Suddenly Gabbo and Meg were sucked into a blue hole that suddenly appeared before them.  
  
They were standing by a river, and Sesshoumau was staring at them.  
  
"*le gasp* IT IS A FLUFFY! I WILL CALL HIM FLUFFY! HE WILL BE MINE! HE WILL BE MY FLUFFY! And I'm gonna love him and hug him and feed him and take him for walks EVERYDAY!" Meg suddenly screeched.  
  
She ran up to Sesshoumaru and glomped his fluffy thing.  
  
Meanwhile Gabbo was asking him many pointless questions.  
  
"So why do you wear make-up?"  
  
"I don't."  
  
"Uh huh. What is that fluffy thing?"  
  
"A tail."  
  
"Is it your tail?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Who's is it?"  
  
"My mothers."  
  
"GRAVE ROBBER!"  
  
"What?"  
  
Sesshoumaru then turned to Meg. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Glomping."  
  
"I see. Why?"  
  
"'Cause you're my Sesshy/Fluffy-sama."  
  
"I'm your what?"  
  
"Mine. That's all that matters."  
  
Sesshoumaru took out his poisonous claws and dug them into Meg's head. She smiled. He started shaking his hand around.  
  
"Why-won't-you-die?" he asked as he shook her.  
  
Meg looked confused. "Well I'm writing this. I can make myself immortal or whatever."  
  
"Writing?"  
  
"Yup! I'm an authoress! I write stories! This is the first time I've ever been thrown into one though."  
  
"Why are you here?"  
  
"I just explained that."  
  
"Meg."  
  
"Mmm."  
  
"I didn't say anything." Gabbo and Sesshoumaru said.  
  
"Meg Meg Meg Meg Meg Meg Meg Meg Meg Meg Meg Meg Meg Meg Meg Meg Meg Meg Meg Meg." A girls voice said.  
  
"Sunni!" Meg cried shaking free of Sesshoumarus grasp.  
  
She reached up and her hand kinda went through one of Sesshoumarus claw marks.  
  
".I'll just walk it off." She shrugged.  
  
Sesshoumaru stared at her. "What are you?"  
  
"I'm an authoress! I told you that already!" Meg sighed exasperated.  
  
"."  
  
"Helllloooooo? Did you forget about me?" Sunni asked.  
  
"Nope." Meg answered.  
  
"I was trying to." Gabbo muttered.  
  
"I'm off to find Legolas, the wonderful Legsie-poo!" Someone said.  
  
A young boy with mousy brown hair and glasses that looked like a hamster came skipping up to them.  
  
"Trevor?" Meg and Sunni asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"What are you doing in feudal Japan?" Meg asked.  
  
"I thought this was middle earth. I'm looking for Legolas." Trevor answered.  
  
"I thought so. He's still hangin' out at the 7-11 I left him at." Sunni said.  
  
"YOU LEFT MY LEGOLAS ALL ALONE IN A GIANT SCARY CONVIENEINCE STORE?!?!??!?!?!?!?" Trevor demanded.  
  
"No.. I left him all alone in a 7-11." Sunni said.  
  
"SAME THING!" Trevor screeched running away.  
  
"Awww. That was mean Sunni."  
  
"Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows are what I feel when we're together!" Gabbo started singing.  
  
Sesshoumaru just stared at the three strange girls in front of him. What did he do to get him into this mess?  
  
"Why Kami-sama? WHY?" He asked the sky.  
  
"Because I hate you." A deep voice said  
  
"Is that you Kami-sama?" Meg asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"OoOoOoOoO!!!! I WANT A PONY!" Gabbo called up to the sky.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't know. But I want a pony!"  
  
"A pony will die, you don't want a pony. I'll give you. a horse." Kami-sama said.  
  
"Won't a horse die too?" Sesshoumaru asked.  
  
"*le gasp* SESSHOUMARU'S SANE! GET HIM THE PILLS! GET HIM THE PILLS!!!!!!" Meg cried at Sunni.  
  
Sunni opened the ever-present backpack and got out a pink bottle with the words 'Insanity Pills: Take At Your Own Risk.' She threw them to Meg who opened the lid and tried to give one to Sesshioumaru, he wouldn't take it.  
  
"Sesshy don't wanna be insane?" Meg asked. "Okay." She shrugged, throwing the pills back to Sunni.  
  
Sunni caught them and stuffed them back into the backpack on top of a drawing labeled 'Inuyasha's Visa Bill'.  
  
Sesshoumaru looked very amused. "Tell me, how is it that you got here?"  
  
"The big blue hole!"  
  
"Don't you mean black hole?"  
  
"No. I'm pretty sure it was blue."  
  
"MEG! We have to put Sesshy into the cage or he might escape!" Gabbo said suddenly.  
  
"Yeah! Get writing!" Sunni added.  
  
Meg grabbed her laptop out of Sunni's backpack and began writing.  
  
I Suddenly, electric bars appeared around Sesshoumaru in the shape of a cage. /I  
  
Just as Meg had written electric bars appeared around Sesshoumaru in the shape of a cage.  
  
"We caught Sesshoumaru! We caught Sesshoumaru!" Meg, Sunni and Gabbo started chanting, dancing around Sesshoumaru's cage. (AN: That was hard to write!)  
  
"I demand to be released!" Sesshoumaru demanded.  
  
"Hm. Lemme think about that." Meg mock thought. "No."  
  
The three girls began dancing around the cage again. Trevor came skipping back.  
  
"My Legolas is okay." He informed them.  
  
"I wonder how Darius is." Sunni mused.  
  
"Heero is not toast." Gabbo quoted.  
  
A little blue thing popped up on Sunni's shoulder. "My toast is Heero." It informed them.  
  
"No it's not!" Gabbo said sticking her tongue out.  
  
"It is!" The thing informed them.  
  
Gabbo took a bite of the toast the thing had been holding. "It's not no more!" (AN: Gabbo read that to me from a site)  
  
"You ate my toast!"  
  
"Matty! Go away!" Sunni said to the little blue thing.  
  
Matty stuck his tongue out at Gabbo before disappearing.  
  
*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%  
  
Will Sesshoumaru be able to survive Meg, Sunni and Gabbo? Will Trevor ever stop talking about Legolas? Will we ever find out if Heero is toast? Will any of these questions be answered?  
  
Yukai: Prolly not.  
  
Gabbo: That was strange.  
  
Yukai: Believe it or not, we actually talk about this stuff. "Sesshoumaru took out his poisonous claws and dug them into Meg's head. She smiled. He started shaking his hand around.  
  
"Why-won't-you-die?" he asked as he shook her.  
  
Meg looked confused. "Well I'm writing this. I can make myself immortal or whatever."" Is actually a direct quote from. Yesterday on the bus.  
  
Gabbo: *nods*Yup.  
  
Yukai: And for those of you who care, my muses went to the sushi bar but will be back next chapter! 


	2. And Then There Were More

Disclaimer: I said it last chapter!!!!!! ...I don't own BoBo, she's another one of my... Friends... *cough*  
  
Yukai: *shakes head* I update too often!  
  
Sessh: So go do something that's NOT torturing me!  
  
Yukai: Awww... But I wuv my Sesshy-sama!  
  
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The Trials of Sesshoumaru  
  
Chapter 2: And then there was more...  
  
*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*  
  
LAST TIME: We discovered that Heero was not toast, Meg has a strange obsession with Fluffy, Gabbo likes ponies, Trevor is in love with Legolas and Sunni is.... Sunni...  
  
Meg, Gabbo and Sunni were standing around Sesshoumaru's cage pondering what to do next.  
  
Matty suddenly popped up on Sunni's shoulder.  
  
"I have done a lot of research and have determined that Heero is not toast but can sometimes be bread." Matty said.  
  
Meg held up a piece of bread.  
  
"My bread is Heero!"  
  
Matty shook his head.  
  
"Not THAT bread, bred, like the past tense of breed!" Matty said.  
  
Meg looked confused. She tilted her head.  
  
"I don't get it!"  
  
Suddenly BoBo, Meg and Gabbo's insane, potty mouthed, clown friend came out.  
  
"You see Meg, when a mommy and a daddy love each other veeeery much, they go (beep) (beep) and then (beep) and nine months later, a baby comes." BoBo explained.  
  
Meg tilted her head to the other side.  
  
"I still don't get it!" She whined.  
  
Gabbo got very angry.  
  
"Do I need to (beep) draw it for you?!" She demanded.  
  
Meg just tilted her head. Sunni walked up to her and took her portable TV out and stuck a DVD in.  
  
~*~*~ DVD~*~*~  
  
Person 1: We are here to explain (beep).  
  
Person 2: Yes.  
  
1: (beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep)  
  
^*% At The Censoring Place %*^  
  
Censorer: *has fallen asleep on the censoring button*  
  
Meg tilted her head back to place.  
  
"I get it now!" She cried.  
  
BoBo, Gabbo and Sunni looked at each other.  
  
"How did that make sense?" Gabbo asked.  
  
Sesshoumaru was now sitting down in the cage. Rin suddenly came along with a bag of peanuts.  
  
"oOoOoO! A monkey!" Rin cried and started throwing the peanuts at Sesshoumaru. (AN: I'll explain at the end of the chapter!)  
  
"Rin! Rin I'm not a monkey!" Sesshoumaru cried. "Where did you get those peanuts?"  
  
A sound like a cough echoed throughout the area and the sky suddenly got a bit brighter.  
  
"CURSE YOU KAMI-SAMA!" Sesshoumaru cried.  
  
A rock fell onto Sesshoumaru's head. And I don't mean just a small, little, tiny pebble, I mean a full blown rock! Not quite a boulder, but very, very, very close.  
  
"Hee hee!" Meg giggled.  
  
"AH! ATTACK OF THE ROCKS!" Gabbo cried running in circles.  
  
"Rocks?" BoBo asked. "What are these rocks you speak of?"  
  
"You know big mounds of hard, hard dirt." Trevor said.  
  
"I don't get it." BoBo said.  
  
"Wanna see a movie?" Sunni asked.  
  
"No." Everyone but Meg and Sunni said.  
  
"But movies help you understand!" Meg said.  
  
"Only insane people with no hope of living a normal li- Show me the movie." BoBo said.  
  
Sunni smiled and put the video into the player.  
  
~*~Video~*~  
  
Person 1: We are here to talk about rocks.  
  
Person 2: Rocks are hard mounds of dirt that sometimes contain imprints of bones.  
  
1:These are called fossils.  
  
~*~End Video~*~  
  
BoBo shook her head.  
  
"Okay, I think I get it."  
  
"That's good!" Meg smiled.  
  
Sunni took the video back.  
  
"That's the worst tape. I don't see how people learn anything from it," Sunni sighed.  
  
"That's too bad. Can you show me the other tape again?" Meg asked.  
  
BoBo, Gabbo and anyone else in a 10 foot radius took a huge step back.  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
"Rin wants to take the monkey home! Rin wants to hug the monkey! Rin wants to love the monkey! Rin wants to feed the monkey! Rin wants to take the monkey for walks." Rin was dancing around Sesshoumaru's cage singing about how she was going to 'love the monkey'.  
  
"Rin, Rin I'm not a monkey!" Sesshoumaru said for the zillionth time.  
  
"RIN WANTS TO TAKE THE MONKEY HOME!!!!!!!!!!" Rin shrieked.  
  
"Yes Rin." Sesshoumaru shut up, just as BoBo, Gabbo, Meg and Sunni started paying attention.  
  
"Oh my god! It's a monkey! Look at the monkey! Can I keep the monkey? Can I? Can I please? Please? Can I keep it? Huh, huh? Can I keep it?" Meg started shrieking about the 'monkey.  
  
"I'M NOT A MONKEY!" Sesshoumaru cried.  
  
"Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure... Ya aren't." Gabbo said leaning against the cage.  
  
"How come everyone thinks I'm a monkey?" Sesshiumaru demanded.  
  
There was a loud cough again. BoBo decided she would explain.  
  
"Rin thinks you are a monkey because of the oh almighty Kami-sama, Meg thinks you are a monkey because of Zoe and Rin."  
  
A girl with long blonde hair popped up beside Meg.  
  
"Hi!" she said happily.  
  
"Who are you?" Sessoumaru asked.  
  
"I am Zoe!" Zoe said, "I'm searching for Koga-kun!"  
  
"Zoe? LEMME AT HER!!!!!!!! LET ME KILL HER!!! I'M GONNA KILL HER!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Sunni started thrashing against Gabbo's hold.  
  
"Calm down Sunni, you can kill her in the next chapter." Meg said calmly.  
  
"You do realize she's trying to kill me?" Zoe asked.  
  
"She's trying to kill you? Why would she do that?" Meg asked.  
  
"Never mind." Zoe sighed.  
  
Rin was now dancing around Sesshoumaru's cage singing.  
  
"I have a lovely bunch of coconuts. Ah there they are a standing in a row."  
  
"Rin shut up." Sesshoumaru was getting a headache and the little girl wasn't helping... Then there was the death match going on between Zoe and Sunni.  
  
"How 'bout swords?" Sunni asked.  
  
"Don't have one. Bow and arrows?"  
  
"Kagome uses them. Kagome is stupid."  
  
"But Legolas uses them." Meg put in.  
  
"Bow and arrows it is." Sunni said shaking Zoe's hand.  
  
"So you guys are having a death match? What about Fluffy-sama?" Meg asked, tilting her head.  
  
"Fluffy?" Sunni asked. "Oh right."  
  
"Fluffy? Sesshoumaru?" Zoe asked. "OH MY GOD! WHERE?"  
  
"Behind you Zoe." BoBo sweat dropped.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Who will win the death match? Will Sesshoumaru ever get back at Kami-sama? Will Meg ever understand anything?  
  
Find out next time on... The Trials of Sesshoumaru!  
  
Yukai/Gabbo: Dun dun DUN! 


	3. The Christmas Special to End All Christm...

Disclaimer: Still not mine... Ours... Whatever...

Meg: It's back! Happiness!

Gabbo: (hits) Took you long enough!

Meg: Oh shush!

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The Trials of Sesshoumaru

Chapter 3: The Christmas Special to End All Christmas Specials!

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SNOW!

Meg get serious!

Sorry. (ahem) On the same day Meg and Gabbo discovered Sesshoumaru, seven feet of snow fell onto Feudal Japan.

Seven feet is quite a bit.

Pshaw. Fine uh... Two feet of snow fell on Feudal Japan, this was to prepare it for...

**The Trials of Sesshoumaru Christmas Special to End All Christmas Specials!**

Meg and Gabbo dressed up Sesshoumaru with a Santa hat and a wreath around his neck.

"Insolent humans! I do not wannt to wear this... hat!" Sesshoumaru cried.

"Well you're going to!" Gabbo said.

"LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!!" someone sang, skipping up to the group.

"Sagey!" Meg cried.

"Why do all your firends get to come?" Gabbo asked.

"BoBo's your friend. And Trevor has to disappear," Meg said.

"What why?" Trevor asked.

"'Cause you moved about seven months ago and I'm mad at you 'cause you won't e-mail me," Meg said simply.

"Oh that. Kay bye!" Trevor said waving and disapearing.

"Now back to **The Trials of Sesshoumaru Christmas Special to End All Christmas Specials**," Gabbo said.

"Yay!" Everyone cheered.

"Insolent girls! I do not _want_ to be here! I want to leave! Let me free!" Sesshoumaru screamed.

Meg gasped." Before **The Trials of Sesshoumaru Christmas Special to End All Christmas Specials?** Never!"

Sesshoumaru sighed adn the grls got back to planning their evil deeds.

"We should dye his hair red and green!" Zoe suggested.

"Yay!" Meg agreed.

"Put mistletoe around his cage?" Sagey asked.

"The mistletoe is trying to kill me," Meg stated.

"Just normal mistletoe then," Sage shrugged.

"Yay!" Gabbo cheered.

"My Sesshy-sama!" Meg said, running over to the cage and glomping Sesshoumaru through the bars.

"Fine fine," Gabbo sighed.

"Now we must start the show!" Sunni said.

_cut to freakin' huge auditorium. There is an audience. meg is standing on stage in a Christmas suity thing_

"Hello everyone and welcome to **The Trials of Sesshoumaru Christmas Special to End All Christmas Specials**!" Meg introduced.

"Yay!" Everyone cheered.

"Now our special guest, Sesshoumaru-sama, lord of the Western Lands will dance!" Meg said, pulling open the freakishly red curtain behind her to show the audience...

Sesshoumaru. With green and red hair, Santa hat and wreath, tap shoes on feet.

"I am not dancing," Sesshoumaru glared.

"Dance Fluffy Dance!" Sunni cried from of stage.

"Never. Stupid insolent humans."

Zoe marched on stage and grabbed the microphone from Meg. "It's either dance or...

K-Cam

KG(zoe): Ladies and gentlemen! For the first time ever... Sesshoumaru in his birthday suit!

Fangirls: Yay!

End K-Cam

"Never! I will not do any of these stupid things for you insolent humans!" Sesshoumaru protested.

"OkAY, time to get a new word there Fluffy. Insolent is getting old," Gabbo said, from off stage.

"Will you sing?"

"No."

"Dance?"

"No."

"Karaoke?"

"No."

"Draw?"

"No."

"Uh... Announce?"

"No."

"Sit prettily in the middle of the stage so I can huggle you?"

"No."

"Well what will you do?"

"Nothing."

"This is supposed to be **The Trials of Sesshoumaru christmas Special to End All Christmas Specials**. How can it end all Christmas specials if you won't do anything?" Gabbo demanded.

"It won't," Sesshoumaru glared.

"Well we can't very well change the name. We had thousands of napkins printed out with **The Trials of Sesshoumaru Christmas Special to End All Christmas Specials**," Gabbo said.

"Napkins?" Meg asked.

"And wine glasses," Gabbo nodded.

"I do not care about that you stupid humans. I wil not do anything. You should give up," Sesshoumaru humphed.

Meg and Gabbo shrugged.

"We'll try again at Easter," Gabbo said.

"_The Trials of Sesshoumaru Easter Special to End All Easter Specials_?" Meg asked.

"Sounds good!" Sunni said.

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Meg: Yay! Merry Christmas all!

Gabbo: Yeah! Joyeux Noel!

Meg: Yeah! What she said!


	4. Keep Your Hands Where I Can See Them!

Disclaimer: We only claim to own Inuyasha, we really don't... Or Battle B'Damon or Legend of Zelda.

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The Trials of Sesshoumaru

Chapter 4- Keep Your Hands Where I Can See Them!

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Everyone died except for Gabbo who became supreme ruler of the universe and turned Earth into Hell. The End.

Gabbo! Get away from my keyboard!

I'm not by your keyboard.

Bloody Hell Gab!

Fine I'm going!

Go faster!

I'm gone.

YOU'RE STILL THERE!

Fine!

GABBO!

Okay now we can start the real story. (ahem) After the excitement of the Christmas special had died down Meag and Gabbo got down to thinking of ways to tortu- Have fun with Sesshy. After awhile they got fed upand called in their good friend Soggie. Soggie was wise in the ways of tor- Fun and was a great help to them all. But since I am writing this and Soggie is not we are reverting back to our old ways.

Meag was glomping Sesshy.

"Must you insist on doing that?" Sesshoummaru asked in a bored tone.

"Would you rather I pulled a Zoe and hid in your pants?" Meag asked looking up at Sesshy.

Meag and Sesshoumaru looked at Zoe, who was currently hiding in Gray from Battle B'Damon's cloak. She popped her head out from under his hat and waved before returning.

Sesshoumaru was silent. "...No."

"Exactly," and Meag retuned to glomping him.

Gabbo turned to Soggie who had randomly appeared a couple of minutes ago. "See our problem, we're becoming repetative."

"It is a problem, but I don't know how to fix it without throwing yaoi into the mix," Soggie shrugged.

Gabbo perked up.

Meag glared from her spot, glomping Sesshy. "No! My Sesshy!"

Soggie and Gabbo rolled there eyes while Gray shook his cloak out in the background with Zoe's head poking out from underneath his hat.

A light bulb suddenly appeared over Meag's head. "I have an idea! A quest!"

"Sounds good," Soggie shrugged. "What?"

"Well it has to do with the Gong of Time!" Meag said, her eyes sparkling.

Zoe's head poked out of Gray's cloak. "Stop ripping of Battle B'Damon!"

Meag rolled her eyes. "Fine. But we still need to do a quest."

At that moment Sage appeared beside Meag wearing Link's hat.

"Hi Sage!"

"Hi Meaggers!"

"Nice hat!"

"Nice Sesshy!"

"I know!"

"Hi Sagey!"

"Hi Zoe! Cool housey thing!"

And Gray was shaking his cloak out again.

Gabbo and Soggie walked up to Sage and Meagandsessh.

"Plans?" Soggie asked,

"Yes. We start the quest next chapter!" Meag said.

"Hear hear!" Sage cried, pulling out a cardboard circle attached to a sword handle.

"What the-?"

"I took the weapons rule seriously at Animethone," Sage shrugged.

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End file.
